[Sen. Santorum is] afraid ... that if gay marriages are legal, hordes of straight people will abruptly turn gay, and people will stop reproducing altogether. Kind of makes me wonder if the good Senator lies awake at night thinking to himself, "Boy, if only homosexual marriage were legal, I'd be wearing glitter makeup and buggering that hot pool boy, Ramon, inside of a week," and therefore imagines that the rest of us feel the same way...
Now, I have further evidence that the "religious right" thinks precisely that way.
Follow me on this: One of their arguments is that allowing gay marriage will lead inevitably down the slippery slope to people marrying goats. Now, as Ellen Degeneres says, "I've never even wanted to date a goat."
But on Alan Colmes' Fox News radio show, anti-abortion extremist Neal Horsley revealed recently just why right-wingers are so afraid of that particular slippery slope (audio and transcript):
AC: "You had sex with animals?"
NH: "Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule." [...] "You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You're naive. You know better than that... If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it."
Now, I'm not shy. I'll happily admit I'm a raving perv, but even I have higher standards than "it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates", and I've certainly never even considered having sex with a mule.
So there it is: The right wing fears permissiveness because, unlike the rest of us, they can't control their own disgusting urges.